Needing a Mediator

by MichelleR on January 23, 2012

An issue many of us face is getting our family members to listen to us. It can be frustrating when you feel your opinion and advice is not being heard.

Doris Haas, RN, wrote an article for Caregiver Magazine addressing her frustration. Haas, being a geriatric nurse I can understand her frustration of her mother taking friends advice over her own. When care is needed miss communication can occur. When families are dealing with this life change mediation can be required.

Just like a lawyer mediating in resolving a suit or merger agreement, families can need that extra person to be placed in the middle.

It is hard when that transition of the parent always taking care for their child shifts to the child now taking care of the parent. Sometimes arguments and disagreements occur and need that outside person to keep the situation calm and safe.

Haas describes the definition of mediation in her article;

Mediation is private and confidential.  Participants can express themselves in a safe situation where the other participants
listen.  Mediators keep the focus on the issues so that families can move beyond underlying problems.  Exploration of different options and creative problem solving is encouraged.  They become empowered and design their own agreements.  Older persons participate if able, which gives them maximum control over basic life decisions.  This approach is non-adversarial.

Mediation addresses all issues and clarifies all challenges that will be faced, such as types of care, finances, decision making authority and the needs of other family members. Even if you are still in disagreement, you will have a better understanding the other person’s reasoning.

In the home care industry, Geriatrics or Case Managers are the ones recommended to mediate. For a list of references in the South Bay Area please call 650-691-9671.

Michelle Rogers, owner of Home Instead Senior Care in Mountain View, gives free talks full of home care advice periodically
through-out the year. Please continue to check Facebook : Home Instead Mountain View or follow us on Twitter, handle :homeinsteadmtvw for updates of events.

Upcoming talks:

Saturday January 28, 2012 @ 10:30 am at the San Carlos Adult
Community Center, San Carlos Ave

Thursday February 2, 2012 @ 6:00 pm at the Palo Alto Adult
School, 50 Embarcadero Road

To view Doris Haas’ article please go to the following link:


“All 4 Wine, LLC, d.b.a. as an independently owned and operated Home Instead Senior Care franchise”

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